For those who may be thinking of over indulging this St Patrick's Day.
In our little council estate community we have our fair share of alcoholics, young and old. Mainly a friendly bunch, they keep themselves to themselves. The shops across the road serve most of their needs - an off licence (of course), a Chinese takeaway and a betting shop; they hardly ever need to go to Sainsbury's or the High Street.
Our flat looks onto the shops, so we get to see many of the comings and goings. The other day both the children were out at friends' houses and Toby & I were shooting the breeze in the living room. I happened to look out the window and see one of the locals navigating the (fairly busy) road, with his greyhound. He was walking in the very slow, precise way that one only uses when one is very very drunk.
He made it across the road and then had the job of tying his dog up. This took a while. Once that was accomplished, he was able to head for the Chinese takeaway. This was in a straight line from where he'd tied his dog up, so he managed that without too much trouble. There was a little wobble when he pushed on the door and it moved away from him, but he recovered well.
Order made, he exited and proceeded up the parade towards the off licence. However, he was interrupted in this task by the site of his dog, who had freed itself from the obviously ineffectual knot and was busy doing its business in front of the restaurant which Lambeth Council set up to provide working opportunities for people with learning disabilities. Cue much incoherent shouting and flailing of arms. The dog was retrieved and very carefully tied up again.
I guess as he was closer to the takeaway than the off licence, he decided to go back in to pick up his food first. Exit carrying one portion of chips. A little bit of a tricky manoeuvre to untie the dog without dropping the chips, but it was masterfully done.
At this point Toby went off to pick up the children and I went off to do some blog surfing.
A couple of minutes later I glanced out of the window to see him making his way towards to the off licence with the dog on its lead. Coming in the opposite direction was a young girl with a very cute puppy. What happened next seems inevitable to those of us who'd seen things from the beginning, but came as a very great shock to the girl with the puppy.
The greyhound, being a friendly dog, wanted to say hello to the puppy. However, the owner was in front of his dog and was intent on the off licence. His control of the dog was also somewhat handicapped by the bag of chips. Anyway, the greyhound jumps in the opposite direction to say hello to the puppy; the leads then become entangled as the puppy jumps around excitedly; the girl tries to disentangle everything; the owner of the greyhound suddenly realised he's being pulled in the opposite direction from his holy grail and turns to see what's happening; at that moment the greyhound jumps forwards ...
A desperate sort of yell, 'Ay, ay, ay', goes up, followed by an awful dull, 'thonk'. The girl with the puppy suddenly realises she's involved in a lot more than a few tangled dog leads. Now she has not only a large greyhound tangled up with her puppy, there's also a man lying at her feet, bleeding from his head. The alcohol had lead to a severe lack of reflexes kicking in during the fall, meaning he had fallen flat on his face.
People rallied round. The off licence owners came over and took the greyhound and tied him up. An ambulance was called. A doctor was passing on his bike and was able to use the off licence's first aid kit to clean things up. Our hero was able to walk to the ambulance when it arrived and was seen on the High Street the next day sporting a fetching bandage. The greyhound went home with someone else for the night. As for the girl with the puppy, I hope she's OK.